Looking up x
by Outlinedinblack
Summary: All Victoria’s life, it had been endless hell. Abused and unloved she goes about her daily life going to desperate measures to protect her secret. James the new boy finds out, but is it too late? Can she be saved at all? R R xx
1. Looking up x

**Summary : All Victoria's life, it had been endless hell. Abused and unloved she goes about her daily life going to desperate measures to protect her secret. James the new boy finds out, but is it too late? Can she be saved at all? R+R xx**

**A/N So this idea had been brewing in my head and I decided to give it a shot! Hope you like it xx**

_And it's obvious that you're dying, dying._

_Just living proof that the camera's lying._

Light streaming in from a gap in the curtains woke me up. I cringed away from the light. My body ached all over as I carefully sat up. Pain ripped through my body and I cried out.

"Ow! Ow!" I winced in pain. Last night hadn't been too bad. It was only Mickey and Amy last night. Looking at my chipped watch, it was 6:49. Trying not to yawn. That would only cause more pain, I reached for the table and half dragged my self up.

I stumbled up to my room and into my bathroom heading for the full length mirror. I stripped off until I was completely naked. I swallowed back the bile that rose in my throat as I looked at my mangled body. My skin was stained an assortment of colours. Mostly purples, but there was blues, yellows, are red patches. Peering at my face I started to panic. Huge bruises outlined my eyes along with a noticeable burst lip. God, this was going to take _a lot _of make up to cover this up. I turned on the shower and let it run for a minute heating it up as best as it could.

I stepped into the lukewarm water and let the water run down my body. I hissed in pain when the water came into contact with the open cuts. Vicious thoughts ran about in my head. You deserve to be abused Victoria. Your so stupid and ugly. You don't deserve to live. This should make you feel important, all this time and effort spent of you. You deserve to be beaten within inches of your life. Tears rolled down my shallow cheeks disappearing in the water. Why me? Do I really deserve this? I must. I grab my shampoo and was my hair. The shampoo stings at the cuts in my head but I let it hurt. This is nothing compared to what Mickey does to me. Amy also. I step out of the shower and get dressed in my usual long sleeved t-shirt and skinny jeans. I put my red high heels on. From the outside, you wouldn't be able to tell I get abused. Especially as I dress properly. This is what they aim for. People actually envy me. Mickey and Amy are smart at their game. They buy me the latest must haves so no one would suspect anything. Everyone gets the impression that I'm some spoiled rich bitch so if I was to tell everyone would think I'm doing it for attention. Not that anyone actually talks to me…

I sit down at my vanity desk and get one my huge bag of make up. My wild red hair is still wet but I let it dry on its own. It goes curly that way. Pulling out my usual I get to work. I smother my face in concealer and foundation working it in ever so gently across my bruises. I winced in pain as they began to throb. When it was rubbed in and covering my bruises I got out my eye shadow. Purple I opted for. This way, if I starts to fade people wont know that its actually bruises they are seeing. They will think its my eye shadow. Only I will know different. I put on black mascara and black eye liner. Sighing at my reflection I sigh unhappy with all the make up. How I envy the day I will go out with only mascara and eye liner on. No heavy foundation and eye shadow.

Sniffing back tears, I limp to the kitchen to make him breakfast. I pulled out eggs, bacon, and slice out of the fridge. I put the gas on and put the pan on. I make his breakfast making sure to cook it on low so that when he comes down its just on the table. I put 4 slices of bread in the toaster and flip the eggs. Upstairs I could hear a door slam. His morning shower. Ten minutes later as he walks down stairs, I put his breakfast which consists of 4 eggs, 6 rashers of bacon and 2 bits of slice and 4 bits of toast, onto the table. He grins a sleazy grin as he enters. He smiles noticing his breakfast then freezes. I pick up the pan off the cooker and get ready to wash it.

"Victoria what is this?!" he asks in a deadly voice. I spin round, nearly spilling all the boiling hot fat in the pan. I look at his breakfast then at him, not getting what was wrong. He looks directly at the eggs. why is he-oh shit!!

"Didn't I tell you yesterday that I wanted _scrambled _eggs?!?!" he asks in that calm deadly voice. Oh god! Not now please not now.

"I'm so sorry" I stutter in a terrified squeak. How the hell am I supposed to remember scrambled eggs for breakfast when a huge boot is stamping down on my face?! Fear roots me to the stop and I now what's coming before I even see it. WHAM! A fist connects with my face and I stumble to the side. The pain in my face is overruled by a burning sensation that's coming from my forearm. Hot oil drips from my arm and I scream as my skin blisters instantly huge welts raising. I fling the frying pan into the kitchen and run my arm under the tap, Mickey's crude laugh ringing in my ears. Peeling back my t-shirt I scream as the skin peels away. My skin bubbles and hisses, the pain almost crippling me. I sob as the water cools my skin, the skin hanging of my grotesque arm. I gag looking at it. The smell, burns my throat. Mickey grabs me by the hair and yanks my head back.

"Consider that half the punishment" he breathes down my neck. I shudder away from him as he goes upstairs to get ready. I cry as my arm burns constant. I look at the clock realising I have 20 before school starts. Keeping my hand under the tap, I stretch over to the cupboard and strain to get the first aid kit. Mines is upstairs. I open it and find nothing useful. I whimper realising I'm going to have to take my arm out of the cold water. I take a deep breath and quickly turn the tap off and bolt upstairs. My arm takes a few seconds realising its not underwater begins to sting and burn making me dizzy. I rip open my door and quickly shut it. I go into my bathroom and shove my forearm under the water. Sighing in relief, I get my special first aid kit. This is jam packed full of things meant for hospital. I take out my half empty tube of burn cream and bandages. Tears pour down my face as I blot my arm dry. The pain returns and I quickly squeeze the cream over my forearm. I wiped the cream in so its covered in to white stuff. I don't rub it in, its too painful. I then wrap it in bandages. The pain is muted. I swallow 2 ibuprofen for the other pain I feel.

I carefully take off my t-shirt and go back into my room. Rifling through my drawer with my good right arm I try to find a long sleeved t-shirt. I get out my deep green and close the drawer. The door flies open and I do my best to cover my exposed chest but its useless. He caught sight of me in my bra. Lust clouds in his eyes as he stares at me hungrily. I swallow nervously. He takes one last long look before going out. I pull my t-shirt on quickly my chest heaving in panic. He's never raped me. Personally, I think its only a matter of time. Hysteria threatens to take over but I fight it. I grabbed my brand new Prada tote bag, shoving my first aid kit in and my car keys. Limping, I go out the door and clamber into my little black Volvo. I make a quick detour to the shops for more burn cream. Even thought it's a scald, I will put burn cream on it.

"Hey" Amanda greets me from the cashier. I smile and mutter hi back. I quickly go to the first aid isle and grab more cream and bandages. I go to Amanda and buy them.

"Burn cream?" she asked laughing.

"Yeah, I burnt myself on the curlers" I smile weakly, grabbing a bouncy thick curl. My hair is fully dry now. Huge curls replaced the wet mess. The red hair was really long, gently waving down my back, ending an inch from the top of my butt. My hair was make up of big curls, which I love.

"Typical. I constantly do that, it's a pain in the arse" she giggled. I laughed along with her and got my stuff. School will start in two minutes. I better move, I DON'T want to be late. It will only make matters worse for tonight when I get home…

Turning on the radio, I recognise Paramore is on. I sing along at the top of my lungs.

__

Take this time to realize  
That you always shut your eyes  
In the midst of trial  
And everything is always right  
And I think that it's time  
This battle must be won  
But you pushed it aside  
Pushed it aside  
Pretend that it's gone

This circle never ends  
And it's time you just face it, don't pretend  
That it's over  
This circle never ends  
And it's time you just face it, don't pretend  
That it's over

Take this time to realize  
That you always force a smile  
In the midst of trial  
And everything is always right  
And I think that it's time  
This battle must be won  
But you pushed it aside  
Pushed it aside  
Pretend that it's gone

This circle never ends  
And it's time you just face it, don't pretend  
That it's over  
This circle never ends  
And it's time you just face it, don't pretend  
That it's over

And it never ends  
It never ends  
And it never ends  
And it never ends  
No, it never ends

This circle never ends  
And it's time you just face it, don't pretend  
That it's over  
This circle never ends  
And it's time you just face it, don't pretend  
That it's over, it's over

Tears escaped from my eyes as I dwelled on the lyrics. I reached the school not surprised to see no one here. The bell had gone and quite clearly I was late. I quickly got our my car and go to the office to sign in. Entering the office, I closed my eyes as the warmth washed over me like I'd just sunk into a hot bath. I deeply inhaled the scents of paper, the flowers and aftershave? I opened my eyes and was met by a pair of beautiful ice blue eyes.

**A/N So how was it? I really need reviews to let me know how im doing ? Good? Bad? Well those two songs in the chapter is Paramore. The first song is Fences and the second is Circle. So please review, I will update quicker!! Xx**

**-Louise x3**


	2. Red and Black x

**A/N How was it?**

Previously : I deeply inhaled the scents of paper, the flowers and aftershave? I opened my eyes and was met by a pair of beautiful ice blue eyes.

_We've tried so hard to understand, but we can' held the world out in our hands and you ran takes some time to let you go and it all we know is falling, it falls._

I stared back into his eyes. He looked at me as though he could see right into my soul. Shock was clearly echoed in his features as he stared. A cough behind him snapped us into reality. I blush furiously as he gazed at me.

"Okay James, so here is your timetable and a map of the school. You have to take this slip and get it signed by all of your teachers and take it back at the end of the day. That's all, so have a nice day" smiled Mrs Cole.

"Thanks" he drawled and took the papers. My heart fluttered at his voice. I shuffled forwards to sign in. As he passed me, she smiled cheekily at me and I found myself smiling back. I signed the register and made my way to English. I burst in and was glared at by Mrs Edward.

"Sorry" I whispered keeping my head down. I got to my seat and was startled by a gasp. I spun round to ask what.

"What the fuck happened to you?" Alice Cullen whispered horror stuck. I froze quickly making up excuses. Shit! She pulled out a mirror and held it up to my face. Black streaks ran down my face and my eyes were like pandas. I almost screamed with relief. I quickly scrubbed my face being careful not to take any foundation. I had to re-do it as the teacher droned on about a poem. There was a loud knock on the door and in came James. Everyone stopped and stared as he walked over to the teacher. She nodded and he sat down to my left beside Emmett Cullen. He grinned before slumping forwards on the desk looking bored out of his skull. I pulled out my notebook and began doodling aimlessly. I felt something soft hit my arm. I looked around and notice James nodding towards a bit of paper on my desk. I opened it and read it. It read :

Hey gorgeous,

Jeez I think im gonna die of boredum. Is this school always like this? Don't you think the teacher has a big mouth?

James x

I smiled and quickly wrote out a relpy.

Hey

What? Have I not died and gone to hell!? Then what the hell is this torture!?!? School is always like this, its pathetic! And yeah, she doesn't. Have you seen her bum? Talk about massiveee (sings)

Victoria :D 3

I flung it back to him. I watched him out of the corner of my eye. He read my letter and roared with laughter.

"James! Is there something you find funny? What is that?!" and quick as a bullet she snatched out letter. She cleared her throat.

"James, Victoria. Out here please" she said stiffly. I dragged myself to my feet as did James and we walked to the front of the class. We faced the class.

"Read" she said sharply. Oh my god! James took the letter and cleared his throat.

"Hey gorgeous. Jeez I think im gonna die of boredum. Is this school always like this? Don't you think the teacher has a big mouth? James x" he laughed openly.

"Hey. What? Have I not died and gone to hell!? Then what the hell is this torture!?!? School is always like this, its pathetic! And yeah, she doesn't. Have you seen her bum? Talk about massiveee" I sang the last word "Victoria with a smiley face and a love heart" I felt my face go red as whole class roared with laughter.

"What to know what I think is funny! Detention! Both of you, after school! Ha bloody ha!" she spat sarcastically. I felt my hands clam up and panic arise in me. I can't be late home! Not when I'm already going to get punished…

"Sit down Victoria!" Mrs Edward yelled. In my hurry to get to my seat, I tripped over my feet and felt forwards smacking my burn arm on the table. White hot pain tore through my arm. I think the fall ripped skin off it. James rushed forwards as the class burst out laughing.

"Are you okay" his voice low and caring. I nodded, quickly composing my face. I sat down in my chair as the bell rang. I groaned and got back up, wincing with the pain. While everyone exited I went into my bag and took out an ibuprofen and swallowed it dry. Shuddering at the rancid taste I got my bag and made a quick detour to the toilets to check on my wounded forearm.

I entered the girls toilets grimacing as the horrible smell of toilets hit me. I checked all the cubicles before going into the farthest away one. Carefully, I pulled my sleeve up over my forearm. I slowly unwrapped the bandages. My nose was hit by the most disgusting smell ever. My stomach heaving, I threw up into the toilet. I looked at my arm and threw up again. My arm was covert in huge blisters, some of them oozing yellow pus. The stench from my arm almost made me throw up again. I'm going to have to go to hospital as soon as possible. Now actually. I put some more cream on it and a fresh dressing. Grimacing, I pulled my sleeve down. I cried out in pain as I accidentally bumped it. Tears welled up in my eyes as I breathed deep to make it go away. Tears flowed down my cheeks and I quickly exited the toilets. I dropped my bag and had to get it but when I stood us someone was right in front of me. James.

"Hey gorgeous, ditching class. If you aren't doing DT then I'm not either" he grinned. I smiled at him, butterflies swarming around in my stomach.

"Somethin' like that" I murmured. "Listen I really need to go. Bye"

"Can I get your number?" he grinned a cheeky grin. I blushed before nodding. He whipped out his phone and I typed it in. I got his too. I felt my heart tug when he smiled at me.

"How's your day going?" I asked him wanting him to talk so I could hear his beautiful voice.

"Pftt, so boring! All the girls are absolute whore's, practically flinging themselves at me. All the guys think they're so hard. What a load of tosser's" he wrinkled his nose in disgust. He then peered closely at me.

"Are you crying" he asked shocked. I shook my head fiercely.

"No, I'm sorry but I have to go" I smiled sadly. I really do want to stay though.

"Okay, but listen" his voice became serious "call me if you _anything_." he said his eyes blazing. I felt my smile falter at this. I turned around and walked out of school feeling his eye's on the back of me the whole time. I carefully drove my car to the hospital feeling sick the whole way. I'm so gonna pay dearly for this. If there's one thing I have learnt, its NOT to go to hospital. I fought back a bitter laugh as I pulled up at the hospital. I locked the car and walked in as calmly as I could. I began to feel dizzy and I didn't know why. I looked down at my arm. My whole sleeve was blood red and dripping the liquid leaving behind me a trail of large splodges of blood. Black spots swarmed in my eyes and I stumbled up to the reception. I fell onto the desk.

"Help me…" I slurred and I felt myself fall, blackness engulfing me…

**A/N So please review xx**


	3. Chapter 3

Hey guys, sorry it's an A/N but I have to promote my new story that hasn't any reviews ):

Its about this girl called Amelia O'keefe and her life. She has a sister with a rare disease called Osteogenesis Imperfecta, OI, which is brittle bone disease, so her sister Willow, who is 7 years old, breaks a lot and easily. She once broke by sneezing. So, Amelia is forgotten by her parents and the rest of the world. She is so over shadowed and forgotten that no one notices she doesn't eat, or they when she does, they don't notice she is sick after it. They don't question Amelia when she wears long sleeved baggy t shirts in the summer. They don't see the cuts on her arms. When her parents find out, they send her to a places that helps her deal with her eating problems. This is the story of her life, and how she battled through it.

I was wondering if everyone could give it a shot please, even though its not a Twilight fanfic.

The summary is up there but in short here it is : **Amelia O'keefe's life has never been good. Her sister had a rare disease, so Amelia is always forgotten about. She then turns to anorexia, that nearly kills her. Her parents, at wits end, put her in a hospital for eating disorders. Will she survive? R & R**

**.net/s/5643750/1/Forgotten_about**

**There's the link, so please give it a chance (:**

**Please review it, it would mean A LOT to me!**

**-Louise x3**


	4. Chapter 4

I bet this is a huge surprise, an alert saying I had updated.

First of all, I'm sorry. I haven't been on much, partly because I didn't feel like writing, I gave up on my stories, and I left them, abandoned. I'm surprised that even remembered my password to be honest.

Another reason, so much has went on since I updated. And its been frightening, I have changed so far beyond recognition but I don't see that as bad, I see it as good.

I've decided to totally start over. I was going to delete this account but no because people have subscribed to me, gave me reviews and I think it would be selfish to just delete this. I've decided that I'm going to finish one of my stories then start new ones, ones that I want to write, and that I wouldn't get writers block for. I have so many new ideas and I'm so excited to write them.

So I thank each and every one of you who has, reviews, subscribed. I would like to thank everyone who will continue to stick around to read my new stories.

Thank you.

Love, Louise x


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